EQ and ethics

Self-awareness underpins  EQ. You need to be aware of your habitual patterns and personal emotions if you are going to be able to do anything about them. Are you aware of your own emotions? Are you aware of how others see you? Do people find you easy or hard to read?

Emotions are often expressed through non-verbal communication, such as facial expressions. A speaker talking to a bored-looking audience should pick up on facial cues to change tack. A person in an argument should realise when the other person is so furious there is no point continuing.

So one of the basic elements of EQ, perceiving and identifying how you and people around you are feeling, includes reading facial expressions.

What researchers say about “the dark side” of EQ

Having high EQ doesn't necessarily mean that you're a good or moral person. Commentators have pointed out that some people who are emotionally intelligent– like sociopaths – use their ability to read people and “manage” others to manipulate others and promote bad behaviour. By definition, sociopaths do not care if others are hurt by their behaviour.

For another angle on EQ, consider concerns that enhancing some people’s self-esteem and confidence – which might be a part of EQ training – can actually be counter-productive. The article “Why self esteem is a bad thing” suggests that too much self-esteem may have a negative impact.

You need to develop your EQ powers and use them for good not evil! It's important to maintain a reasonable perspective on your EQ, and you also need to know when someone with high EQ might be attempting to manipulate you.